Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Her Happiness

| Personal |
|She learned to never let go of hope, because hope never did let go of her|

She learned to let go.
She decided that the crying was enough,
And the tears was not worth it.
She realized that her happiness has a power source of not just one cable but millions,
At places she never thought of looking.
She felt like the sadness was finally too much,
She looked around and saw how happy everyone was,
And decided that she wanted to be happy too.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror,
With mascara running down her cheeks,
And red eyes that has been filled with tears too many times,
She realized that it was enough.
She learned to finally look up.
She learned that her happiness was so much more important,
And that her happiness depends solely on herself and herself only to decide.
She learned that she had to protect it,
Like a large metal shield, protecting her fragile soul.
She learned that she needs to be strong,
And take on the world one step at a time.
She learned that it is not easy to get you want,
And things are going to be rough.
She learnt that everything was never a mistake,
but always a lesson.
And she learned that she can never let go of hope,
Because hope never did let go of her.

Saturday, 18 April 2015

I like running

I like running.
The adrenaline of my legs moving,
the sound of my heart pumping so loud in my chest,
Struggling to catch my breath,
And feeling the muscles in my body flex with every move.

Because when I'm running,
and my legs are taking me somewhere so far away,
Somewhere I never was,
It's an escape.
Or it may just seem like escape,
For just a for a little while at least.

I run away from reality,
I run away from my thoughts I don't want to think about,
I run away from negativity,
I run away from people,
I run away from responsibilities,
I run away from words I don't want to hear,
I run away from having to worry,
I run away from facing life..
Just for a little while.

Because when my legs are moving,
and the only sound I hear is my heartbeat vibrating throughout my body,
I feel alive again.
And everything pauses,
For just a while at least.

Sunday, 12 April 2015

The One Girl who believed

| Personal |

     It's that uncontrollable feeling that makes us all turn around. Silent wishes that keep afloat but never heard. The stars in the sky that could not begin to count that one wish that was counted upon it every night. The silent prayers that are sent up wishing on a feeling that we hoped to ever have a chance to feel. For once to actually feel something that everyone claims to be the best thing the world could ever offer.
     Songs that are written with the most honest opinion. Stories and tale that will never be forgotten. Romeo and Juliet, Twilight and Titanic. "The Way You Look Tonight", "How Deep Is Your Love", and "Isn't She Lovely". No one can stop singing or sharing the tale of a woman or a man that made everything seem like perfect sense. It's clear to see it's not all a lie. And maybe cupid is somewhere in the sky.  But every day I still wonder what It would be like, to feel it for just a second and maybe then I will believe that the tales are finally right.
      The undeniable happiness that comes bursting out of every part of your body, like rays of sunlight shining through the leaves.  The feeling as if time stood still like a statue when together. The drums beats from your heart that vibrates so loud you can almost hear it pounding out of your chest when you see him. The gaze you hold that would equal to 1000 words if written in an essay. The game changer in your head that makes you question your whole play. To see their face, and start to question if there was anyone as beautiful. The long questionable sleepless nights of over-thinking whist having a million feelings in your head but only one person remains. The smile that could light up the whole of New York City. The tight grip of trust, wrapped around each finger, never wanting to let go. The feeling of being loved. The knowing of who and what they are, but loving them anyway. Can you imagine that kind of love?
     And I think the best part is the feeling, of giving and receiving. Feelings are radiated from all parts of the human body where it is too deep to reach. The raw parts in our soul, where feelings could not be any more honest. And the feeling of it makes me wonder, if anyone could ever make me feel this way.
     Cupids and Shakespeare will always convince, that someday my true prince will finally appear.  Maybe he is right around the corner. Maybe my expectations exit all limits. Maybe I just haven't met him yet. And maybe when he does finally appear, it will finally be clear. And when that happens, I will finally understand what those songs and books actually mean. And maybe even love him, more than I will love anyone. And maybe the wait will all be worth it. But with all due respect for the people who do know,  what is it like to be in love?
     My nights are long, with kaleidoscopes of dreams and wonder. Every night with unlimited sense of adventure. On how it would actually feel to ever love. Or in that matter to ever love someone else as much as you can ever anyone or anything else. And I'm tired of waiting for this long kind of adventure. Maybe just for a little while, would that really matter? Just two people to feel a hint of serenity. And it just makes me wonder, when will be the day that our paths will finally cross. 
     Sure there is hope, I'm very convinced. By the true tales that I do witness like a short love story or a play. And true love, I know does exist. And maybe even soul mates and partners.  But it doesn't  stop me from wondering, the dark thoughts that I sweep away. Of actually never meeting anyone. I'm all up for love in all its wonders, but what if it never happens to the one girl who actually believed in love, and all its glory?