Monday, 29 December 2014



| So different |

     Heyyyyy. I've been pretty busy for the past few days. Mainly because my parents and I are busy moving into the apartment we had rented. I don't have clothes to blog about because I literally look like a sloth sweaty and dirty.
    Coming back to an empty place you are going to call home is so weird. I'm just kind of use to my old home where I climb up my stairs to my room, dump my bag and just laze on my couch and be on my phone for hours. Now, its like empty place, hard stools, smell of cemented floors, new bathroom, different fridge, smaller kitchen. Its like I've left behind so many things I never thought I would miss.
    And I guess it isn't a bad thing. Its good that we are getting new stuff and living in such a different environment. Like I said, I'm just kind of bad at starting again. The place is coming together and soon when some of my old furniture arrives, it will start to feel like a home and not just a house, or in my case an apartment. And it's not just this apartment but what I'm about to study. Its nothing like what I use to do. Its no more science, no more chemicals, no more experiments, no more anything like I had dreaded to do. And I use to be so excited to start and still am. But when its near and coming, you're just like this is really happening. I just kind of get really overwhelmed.
     I'm sorry you guys have to hear me talk about starting again, and new beginnings and stuff like that. But if you really want to know what is going on in my head, its all of this. Sometimes I don't really even know what I'm feeling or whats in my head until I write it out like now. So thank you. I don't know if any of you have felt this way about moving and starting again but if you did or do, I'm with you sista.

Rachel Khloe Phan

Friday, 26 December 2014

New Beginnings


| Scared? |

        I've just spent the whole day cleaning my new apartment. I'm going to move in soon and yeah things are just starting to hit me. Like really hard. Smack in the face. Like this is really happening.
        The thought of collage just makes me feel so excited but I'm so scared. I'm just trying not to be dramatic over it. Its like when I moved from KL to Kuching when I was 10, I was so excited. But when I got to the first day at my new school where I knew no one, I felt so alone. And I was alone. People there don't speak the same Bahasa Melayu as KL people do. I was so shy and my confidence was down to the ground. I just cried everyday and wanted to go back to Kuala Lumpur so badly.
        But the sun will eventually shine and everything will be okay. Things got better and eventually I found a group of friends that I love and belong to. And I have now decided that I am glad that I did move to Kuching because the people there are just so nice. The town is so incredibly small and everyone knows each other. There are like constant activities each weekend like a run, charity sale, exhibitions that you can take part in. Its all just lots of fun and I honestly don't think that I will be the same if I had not grown up in Kuching. Fun fact! Kuching was once actually the top 10 cities to live in the world! (at least that was what my mother told me)
        Now after all that, I'm moving back to Kuala Lumpur to study. Its a new beginning again a new start. Its like starting all over again back to when I was going into a new school, primary 1, back to when I moved to Kuching. I'm starting so early and not waiting for my SPM results because I've been wanting to do fashion designing my whole life. I don't want to wait anymore.
       New Beginnings. A new start. Its like going on a roller coaster ride that was so exciting and scary. It feels like that ride had just ended and I'm strapping into another roller coaster ride now. This time it's just much bigger with bigger loops and higher heights. Now I'm just preparing myself and checking my seat belts. Its like people are starting to move on. My friends from Kuching have their own thing now. Its like they are hanging out and yeah I'm usually there but I'm not. Its like we have this group chat thing and I'm in it, but I have no idea what they are talking about because well I'm not there.
     I guess things like this happen and its just time to move on. I'm going to start collage soon and soon enough my usual group of friends will grow apart. Just lots of mixed emotions because I'm not great with starting again. Its probably because I'm going to leave behind so many things I had held on to for so long and had so many great memories with.
     But yeah I'm telling myself that this time it will be different and I'm going to be fine. I'm older now and things are going to different. Everyone goes through this all the time and I'm just one of them. And in the end everything will be okay again.
      Listen to "Stuck in the Middle" by Boys like Girls. Its like spot on. Hope everyone has a great holiday. A new year is ahead. Lets all look forward to it.

Rachel Khloe Phan

Christmas 2014


| Merry Christmas! |

| Dress- Botique | Earings- China | Bracelets - Butterfly- Botique in Bali,  Silver-Pandora | Shoes- Joy & Peace |

          Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerry Christmas!!!!! I hope everyone had a greaaat Christmas with your family and friends. Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays, but honestly this year I really didn't feel like it was really Christmas. I think its because my Christmas tree in my grandma's house (where I'm temporarily living) is the size of a mineral water bottle.  Nonetheless, I had a great time with my family. We had superb food that filled my stomach till it looked like a balloon (not even joking).
          Some of my family members came back and it was a nice feeling having them around. I'm grateful for all the experiences that has happened, good and bad. Without the bad experiences, we would not be the same person we are now. 2014 was just a very strange year. There were like crazy emotions. I can just go into really deep thought if i get into that topic, but lets just save it for the New Year's post.
          Had a really really good Japanese lunch at a really good hotel (where this pictures were taken). I'm so sorry that the clothes I was wearing (in the pictures) cannot be found in most retail stores. I just had saved this dress and was already planning on wearing it. Hope you guys can just find some fashion inspiration. I wore this beautiful laced dress that is so incredibly comfortable (though it may not look like it) due to its soft lining inside. These shoes are actually my mom's because honestly I don't own many heels (ha ha). The earrings was actually my Christmas present my grandmother had gave. She bought it when she traveled to China. She said when she said it reminded her of me when she saw it. The butterfly bracelet I had bought when I was is Bali. The shop I had bought this bracelet from was literally right next to the road. It was a cute little shop and I just really loved it. I kind of have a thing for butterflies. And the other bracelet is just my usual Pandora bracelet I wear all the time. I went to do a pedicure with my friend Emelia and I did Christmas colours!! Sadly it didn't match what I wore but I don't care I still love it.
        Hope you all have a wonderful holiday with your family and friends. I'm taking this time to just reflect on everything that had happened this year and just be grateful and happy.

Rachel Khloe Phan 

Wednesday, 24 December 2014



| The Owl |

           Owls remind me of animals that only come out at night. It  reminds me of people that only come out in the dark so they could not be seen in the light. Afraid of rubbing off as an attention seeker, center of attention and under the spotlight. Afraid of living in fear and influenced by what the world signifies as cool or in-trend or even stereotypical. Its about fearing we are not good enough for our way of living. Its about staying safe. But what we don't see is how beautiful we are even during the night. 
           Its about learning to be brave and strong. To embrace our flaws. You are the only person who is the best at being you. Its about shining in the dark and staying in the light. Its about learning to love and accept who we are. In the end, we will eventually meet people who will accept us for who we are. Even on our darkest days.

Rachel Khloe Phan

Monday, 22 December 2014

10 Facts About Me


| Facts you probably don't need to know |

        I am feeling pretty motivated to write today. The day started out with BANG BANG BANG BANG freaking firecrackers early in the morning at around 6 a.m. by the Chinese temple next to me. Oh My Gosh people are trying to sleep man. So today I'm just staying at home all day, being a lazy girl waiting for college to start in January. I'm pretty relaxed now and family members are coming back for the holidays. I can't wait for Christmas to come. Anyway, these are 10 facts about mua.

1. I don't ever comb my hair.
Yeah. Probably the only time my hair ever gets combed is when I go for a haircut at a hairdresser. I don't comb my hair because when my hair just gets so fluffy and puffy. It just looses its curls and wavy-ness. 

2. I have a mole in my left eye.
Yes you heard that right. IN my eye. Not OUT but IN. It's like in the inner corners of my eye near to my nose. I didn't actually notice it until I was like 10. I had always thought it was you know eye poop. I was like 'Why isn't it coming out???". Then I realized.... I was afraid it was going to grow huge and make my look like a witch :(. But so far, its still the same size!

3. I am allergic to melted cheese.
Melted cheese like specifically. If it was like grated cheese then that's fine for me. I tried it twice because I thought I was crazy or just being allergic to melted cheese, but it did not end well. Lets just say I had to sit on the toilet seat the whole night. And day. Meh.

Like really really. I think we should thank the good Lord for blessing us with such beautiful creatures. They are the most loyal, friendly animals there are. I grew up with three dogs named Kipps, Patches and Foxy. Later on Chewy came and then it ran away :(. Then there was Spaghetti (such a stupid name I know). Currently I don't have one of my own because my family travels quite often and we don't have the time to spend with them. When I'm older, I'm going to get a dog. I need it to survive

5. When I was just a few months old, I was orange.
Yeeeap, you heard that right (again). Apparently I was orange when i was younger because my mom fed me too many carrots. She was so worried so she brought me to the doctor. Neither the doctor could decide the reason why I was orange. Then he asked my mother "Have you been feeding her a lot of carrots?"

6. I play squash.
When I was in high school (between the age of 13-17) I was in the squash club. I wasn't that bad. I played quite well when I was attending squash lessons between me and my school mates. I entered competitions and won like 3rd, 4th, 2nd, but I had never won first place. It was luck, basically because most of the pro athletes didn't join that year. I was lucky enough to reach state level and got 3 silver medals along the way. I met so many funny people and got to travel around Sarawak (FOR FREE), mainly Miri and Sibu. I got to be responsible and overall 4 years of squash was awesome. I learnt and experienced so much. Even though I kind of sucked among the other pro athletes and embarrassed myself in front of so many people numerous times, (i looked like the complete noob) I don't regret a single moment and am so proud that I had built up the confidence and courage to go out to the court and play the best that I could.

7. I love Taylor Swift
I know that there are probably lots of haters but I just love her. I absolutely looove 1989, it is by far her best album yet and my favorite album ever. Her songs just really put all my emotions into words. I can jam to any of her songs from Fearless to Speak Now,  Red and 1989 anytime...anywhere.

8. I am the ultimate female dog when I'm sleepy or when I have just woken up. I don't know i just turn into a monster. I just get so cranky and rude. I apologize to anyone who has ever been with me through this time. I don't mean it I swear. Sorry mom.

9. I am a total sucker for love stories.
Maybe its because I just keep hoping my life would turn out like a love story. Sad life. It does make me happy after I finish watching it. It fills me with hope, love and happiness. Maybe I'll get a boyfriend someday. Maybe.

10. I want to move to Switzerland one day.
I don't know why Switzerland specifically. I just feel like its a really nice place to live and raise your kids. Yes I'm thinking of the future. Its just a very neutral country with peace and stuff. And to learn how to speak Swedish would be awesome. 

      Well here are 10 weird facts about me. Going to eat, and write, and suck myself into YouTube again.

Rachel Khloe Phan

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Stay Connected


| Here's a few ways to stay connected |

Feel free to contact me for any inquiries
Any messages are most welcome as well.
Contact me through my :
e-mail :
instagram : @rachelkhloephan
twitter : @rachelkhloephan

Rachel Khloe Phan

Monday, 15 December 2014

Who's Rachel Khloe Phan?


| Here's a biography about me | 

           Hello! You reading you are making me so happy. Welcome! My name is Rachel Khloe Phan. I hold a huge passion for fashion and art. I was born on 4th of June in the year 1997. I live on the busy streets of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am 90% Chinese and 10% mixed blood that i'm not even sure off (neither do my parents). It just runs along the lines of Vietnamese, Thai and Indonesian.

           I've always wanted to start my own blog. I had finally build up the courage and confidence to make a  blog. Many people have also been asking me to do so and here I am starting one now. I've always been the kind to write better than I do talking. I feel like I express myself  better when I'm writing. I chose the URL rachelkhloephan like plainly because I am the worst at being creative with names and stuff like that. I literally named all my social media usernames rachelkhloephan (not unless the name is already taken. Sigh). I'm just really bad at being creative with names.

           I've always believed in the creative side of the world. Fashion to me is like your identity. It may just be a simple t-shirt and jeans paired with sneakers or even a fancy little black dress paired with countless jewelries. It shows who you are as a person. It puts on an image of ourselves we wear everyday and also helps us to gain the confidence to carry out everyday life. Its more then just a garment i put on everyday but a way of living.

          Art has also been rooted into the very depths of my soul. Its like a paint stain that would not come off your favorite t-shirt. My passion for art will never fade away.Art is a way of expressing myself in a drawing. Its like a feeling or emotion you feel in that moment that can be translated into an art piece. Its that silences that you alone hold that surrounds you when you really get into it. Its the understanding you get with the drawing you drew. I can't explain how much drawing has helped me so much through my hard times.

         I hope that you have found me a tad interesting. Subscribe if you want to see more of my blog. I hope you will enjoy reading my blogs as much as I love writing them.

Rachel Khloe Phan